Grandparents

My Grandmother, Phyllis Miles, August 2011 at my cousin's wedding

The seasons of life are ever-changing. We are born, we live, and we die. Our lifetime on this planet is filled with relationships that teach us lessons that we carry for the rest of our lives. In the beginning, we have our families, and as we grow, our network of relationships grow along with it. Although many of us will have 100's of relationships of varying degrees from acquaintances to soul-mates, all of us have a few core relationships with people that we carry through most of our lives. One relationship that seems to offer lasting positive memories is the relationships that forms between children and their grandparents.

Many people can recall fond childhood memories of connecting with a grandparent in a deep and fundamental way. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I was fortunate enough to have one grandmother, and one grandfather who loved and supported me throughout my childhood. In fact, I was doubly blessed because I enjoyed relationships with both grandparents until I became an adult. My grandfather passed away when I was 21 years old, and my grandmother passed away this past October at 84 years of age.

The last time I saw my grandmother was at my cousin's wedding this past August. It was a reunion of sorts for us because it was the first time that I had seen her in 8 years. As I listened to her talk, I realized that so much of her was still the strong women that I remember from my childhood. She even looked exactly how i remembered. I also realized what a blessing it was to be able to enjoy the company of my grandmother at the age of 37. As we talked throughout the evening the thought that circled through my mind was how lucky am I to be 37 and still have a grandmother!

My grandmother, Phyllis, was the second wife to my grandfather. My biological grandmother had passed away before I was born, and my grandfather was blessed with meeting a second life-time mate in one life time. My grandmother had also been married before, and she also had children from her previous marriage. Between the 2 of them, they had 6 children. My grandfather had four children, and my grandmother had two.

Although my brother and I were technically step-grandchildren, my grandmother embraced us as her own. In fact, when I was older and learned that my grandfather had been married before, I was very surprised. Even if we were not connected by blood, she had always been exactly what a grandmother should be. In fact, she was my grandma.

I was raised by a single mother, and our extended family lived hours away. We were poor, and didn't always have the money to take vacations to visit them, and my grandparents always made sure to bridge the distance by coming to visit us once a year. I remember how excited I would be when they were coming to visit. My very own grandma was coming to see me.

I would spend the day sitting on our front steps watching for their little white Nissan truck to come around the corner and pull into our driveway. Their visit was always short, but in the couple of days that they were there my grandmother would treat me as if I was the only granddaughter in the world.

My grandmother also had magic powers. For instance, she used to rub the facecloth after she put the soap on and explain that by doing this that the soap wouldn't burn my eyes. She was right. When she washed my face, soap never burned my eyes. She made me birthday cakes full of money, and somehow I always got the richest piece. She was able to always help me find the most interesting treasures when we were out combing beaches. When I was in grade five, she road 6 hours on a Greyhound bus to come to watch me make a speech to my school when I was running for Student Council Treasurer. Just having her there, cheering me on gave me the confidence to carry though with my speech.

When I became an adult, I drifted away from my family. Life and distance did not give my Grandmother and I many chances to connect. Looking back, I would have liked to have more of a relationship with her in my adult life. The memories that we created when I was a child will warm my heart for the rest of my life. They are stories that I now share with my children about my childhood, and the important people whom I loved so much.

When I look at all of the people that have come into my life. I am blessed because there are many people that I hold fondly in my heart. My grandmother, and her love for me are imprinted on my heart forever.
In the big scheme of things, our time together was short, but throughout my childhood, she loved and supported me in the ways that only a grandparent can.

To close, I would like to say Thank You to all of the grandparents who love their grandchildren unconditionally. You give us, your grandchildren your patience and your wisdom. We will never forget your kindness and love.